You’re Doing Great–Just Don’t Mess Up

When I used to write, before I quit for that spell and then came back to it, I used to write beginnings, endings, and a few key scenes in between.  The rest of that middle was supposed to get filled in, but by the time I’d flesh out introducing the characters, introducing them to each other, and laying out the general set-up of the story, I usually lost interest in the acutal work, like figuring out all those details and how to get from C to K to T to Y. 

I have finished a book.  It has a beginning, a middle, and an end.  It has a spiffy shiny polished front end, which gleams until somewhere in the second third.  Which means that I’ve reworked it from the beginning to a certain point a few times and then stop working on it.  It’s got some problems to work out, and I always say that someday I’ll figure out what it needs and I’ll fix it once and for all.

But right now I’m having this all too familiar feeling.  I think I must be closing in on the 2/3 mark again.  I’ve always said that I hate middles, but maybe it’s not the dead middle that’s the problem.  Maybe it’s that uphill push, that increase in intensity that needs to happen here before the downhill slide to the end.

In my last post I talked about a few things I know need to happen, so why don’t I just start writing to them?

I think maybe the answer lies in how much I like the beginning.  I could easily go back and start working the beginning at this point.  And don’t worry, I’m not going to do that.  But I’d feel comfortable there.  I’d enjoy reading through all that again.  There are things I’ve done in the last sixty thousand words that I’m really proud of. 

And man, I do not want to mess that up.

Maybe I’m not good enough to build up this climax.

And you’re going to tell me if I don’t like the next 20K I can delete it and go back, I can always edit, I can’t edit what I haven’t written, yadda yadda, and it’s all swell advice (and I thank you very sweetly) but I know that. 

But what I’ve come to realize this evening is that part of me is scared that, despite those very true things about editing, possibly also true:

Maybe I’m not good enough to build up this climax.

So I’m doing this dumb thing and whining to you about my insecurities, yet again, and proving the wisdom of the rule: Don’t blog after 11pm.  I just thought maybe it would help.  You know, that whole admitting you have a problem thing. 

Advertisements

7 Comments

Filed under insecurities, me me me, wotm, writing

7 responses to “You’re Doing Great–Just Don’t Mess Up

  1. seanachi

    Don’t be a dork, Pot. If you had it in you to write this fabulous 60k, you have it in you for the next 20k. And as I’ve read it all, I’m in a position of authority here. Go to bed.

  2. Seriously, do I have to thank you very sweetly for that?

  3. Maybe I’m not good enough to build up this climax.

    Oh man, I know this feeling! I had a great beginning and the perfect ending paragraph. I even had some great scenes in the middle with a to-die-for conflict & resolution but I died somewhere in the “middle.” Where am I now? On a different book.

  4. gypsykitten

    All I can say is: Amen.

    I’m happy with my beginning… I know what my ending will be. I’m starting to get into the middle of the story, and I’m starting to feel a little lost. I’m hoping I find my way.

  5. Well they always say the hardest part of anything is getting started. Of course I’ve never written a book so I wouldn’t know.

    I wanted to stop by and let you know I posted the results from last weeks TT13 the Food Edition. It’s up at http://anyapples.blogspot.com/ if you want to take a look. 😛

  6. Sometimes it’s hard to end because you don’t want it to stop. Sorry I haven’t been around. Lots of Stuff going on…

  7. Joely-
    No worries. I’ve been busy too. Sweating, mostly…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s