Last night I wasn’t going to write anything. I was doing that regrouping thing, figuring out the next bit to come. What that really means is that I DID NOT want to write my Black Moment and was stalling like anything.
Well, Kettle pops up, and of course she’s writing. That girl is always writing in whatever snatches of time she has. Makes me feel like crap sometimes, let me tell you. “Progress?” she asks. “Depends on your perspective,” is my reply. “I knitted a sweater for Blythe and I’m just about to write up the pattern before I forget what I did so I can do it again.”
Bad Susan. It’s 100°+ every day. Like Blythe needed a sweater.
Anyway, since Kettle was writing, I was like ok, I guess I can write the intro to the Black Moment scene. So I pretty much whipped that out at 725 words, showing that it was right there ready to be writ and I was just being lazy and/or stubborn.
Kettle went to bed and I wasn’t sleepy, so I decided it would help my mental health to try and get some notes written about this Black Moment scene, so I wouldn’t forget to include stuff once I got into it, and so I’d know where I was going and wouldn’t have to fear the writing of it so much. So la dee da, and the next thing you know, it starts pouring out onto the screen, in that very rough way I tend to write things in the present tense with no proper quotes or format. And almost 3000 words later I was through it. Whew. It was after 1am and I was on a roll. As Alex left the room I was ready to jump right into Matt’s head and get his reaction.
I turned around, and he’s sitting there crying. Oh no. Oh. NO! I freaked. I admit it. I cannot stand to see men cry. It scares me. I hate it. I shut the lights on that scene so fast you’d have thought a transformer had blown.
Yeah, I’m pretty much afraid to go back now. Don’t be surprised if you see me rewriting and tweaking the Black Moment a whole bunch to avoid it. I don’t know what’s going to happen now.
Men crying in books has to be handled just right for me. It’s very dicey, and generally, I wouldn’t recommend it. So what do I do now? I like me my brooding, stoic, Alpha males. How did I end up with Emo Matt? When he’s not blowing sunshine out his butt, he’s emoting all over the damned place.
So do I fix him? Do I deny him the emotional outlet? How much do I not want to go back there and not only be Matt in tears, but also watch and record at the same time!
How about you? How do you feel about teary men?