I know, Wow! a post from me. Ugh. It’s just been exotic varieties of awful this fall. And I’m going to spare you the details of my neuroses and angst over the past few months.
Anyway, today Kettle gently says: I think that’s why blogging was so good for you. But then you sort of dropped that too.
I talk to Kettle about all kinds of things, and still, though I’m not writing, we talk of many writerly things. So it occurs to me that just because I’m not writing doesn’t mean I can’t talk about them at you.
Last night I emailed her the following:
…I think what’s holding me back right now is that I don’t have a single character on the board with whom a feel a real connection. There are a bunch of them who are fleshed out, whose backstories I’ve come up with and whose motivations I feel I understand, but it’s sort of like reading their dossier rather than having any intimate understanding of them. Matt, Alex, Jack, Siobhan… I felt them. These guys, every time I try to slip into them, it’s like wearing rented underwear or something. Not. Right.
How to explain what we talked about this morning… I think the general idea was that they hadn’t incubated long enough. They were people I made up, rather than people who sort of showed up. They have a lot of characteristics that I gave them because it was what the story needed, not because character or writer actually owned them. I theorize that it’s because, while I like to plan, I’m not usually planning and then jumping into actual, you know, writing. Not like I have been this year. And although Matt and Alex were largely created in this way, for some reason it worked for me.
Much as I like to create a hero or heroine and then create the mate from that character’s rib, think through that character initially in terms of a compliment, perhaps my characters are created from something of mine. And lately, I’m just not seeing the resemblance. I’m not able to relate to them; understanding and empathizing can be quite different things.
So I’m not sure what I’m saying here, but I thought perhaps you wouldn’t mind if I just came by to talk about my random thoughts now and again.