#ROW80 Check-in: Fail

Snow day #11 for our district and, including weekends, the 22nd straight day of unrelieved parenting.

She got up at 4:45am. My husband gets up at 5 to go to work, so I got up too and tried to encourage her to stay out of his space as he’s one of those people you’re not supposed to talk to in the morning. I ended up not being able to keep my eyes open and, by the time he went to work, had to go back to bed. Except then of course I really couldn’t go back to sleep and just fretted about stuff. It was awesome.

So back to the ROW80 thing…

My goals:

  • spend a minimum of 1 hour working on the Talent Chronicles every weekday
  • a minimum of 1/2 hour should be unplugged from the internet
  • finish 3 scenes per week

What I did:

  • No hours spent
  • No scenes completed
  • No words written

I’m not going to get my mom to write me an excuse note. Besides, she freakin’ abandoned me and went to freakin’ Florida. Where I could have been, hanging out with Mickey, since there’s no school anyway.

I don’t have to tell you guys who have been here lately that I’m pretty much on edge. The only work I did in my world this week was stealing some of Kait’s time to try to brainstorm the details of the upcoming scenes, which mostly was just me telling her stuff I already knew. Because when she had time, I was trying to put supper together and shockingly, was not real focused.

Yesterday I was accomplished in that I wrote to an IP law firm which has a branch in town and told them I needed information and advice, and then contract review if it came to that, but I’ve had no response to that. I’m concerned I will actually have to make a phone call. (I’m kind of phobic about the phone.)Β  Of course it’s snowing, so there’s probably no one there. I wrote back to the individual who contacted me and asked for patience. I hate feeling like an idiot, but what are you gonna do?

Not like that took all day yesterday. I took my tree out because my husband’s been too busy to do it, and then I set about cleaning up all the pine needles and mud the pets have tracked in (three and they’re indoor/outdoor), that’s been there since Christmas. Since my daughter wanted to skate, I did that on skates. Inefficient, but kind of amusing since I had to move furniture and stuff and kept rolling away. There was also side by side Nintendo DS play morning and evening.

Last week I had pretty good luck with shutting myself in my room to work. Even though there were multiple interruptions, I still got stuff done. Now there are whiny guilt trip fits any time I try to do stuff. We’re both just really tired of it being just us. I’m sure it’s lonely being an only child. I was the kind of kid who spent hours in my own head. I could sit in my room with my dolls, and I didn’t even have to move them around to play with them. I never voiced them out loud, I always played in my head. It’s often hard for me to relate to someone who is outward, social, and always wants connection.

We’re supposed to get a break from the snow tomorrow. I have a commitment in town tomorrow if I can possibly make it, and that, plus at least an hour of travel time each way in this mess, will suck up the whole school day, if there is one.

Hoping everyone else did better on their goals. If you’re blog hopping to find out, here’s the linky.

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18 Comments

Filed under ROW80

18 responses to “#ROW80 Check-in: Fail

  1. I feel for you. I long to make enough money to send my son to daycare… even if it means getting an outside job to accomplish it. πŸ™‚ There’s just something about not having to worry about taking care of a little person while trying to do a job.

    Wishing you much success with figuring out all the contracting nonsense.

    • I’m realizing that my expectations were unreasonable. There’s no way I could go out and get a full-time job right now. Even a part-time job would be hard. So how can I expect to fit a full-time career in right now, just because it’s one I do from home? I can’t. It’s not in me. I realize that there are women who have part and full time jobs and do a great job with multiple children. I’m not one, and couldn’t even play one on TV, and I need to stop worrying about that and just deal with who I am and what I can do right now. I need to stop thinking, when other women say they wish they didn’t have to work a paycheck job in addition to the other stuff, that they’re saying something TO me rather than ABOUT their own situation.
      /pep talk to me.

      • If you can get away with not having a job, I say go for it. I don’t work outside the home either. We’re pretty lucky to still make ends meet with only my husband’s job. When I did, I didn’t write at all. I dread having to work outside the home and trying to write also. Some days it’s hard enough without an outside job.

        I’m glad you’ve decided to put aside what everyone else has to do to manage. πŸ™‚ After all, even drones have different jobs and abilities.

  2. Snow days are awful. I wanted to cry during our snow infestation. It was crazy, I was crazy, I am so glad it’s over. I don’t normally mind school free days but the snow and the dark and the stir craziness got in on me. I didn’t work at all. It’ll be over, hopefully soon, and things will go back to normal. Hang in there.

    BTW, having one kid is much harder than having a few. Seriously. I’m also a phone phobic, live in my own head sort of person so it was really hard for me to remember I needed to talk every now and then. πŸ˜‰

    • I had just one for a few reasons, but one was that I have a sib, we fought all the time, and I didn’t want to be breaking up fights all the time. Instead I broke up disputes between her and the dog all day today. So much for that plan.

  3. It sounds like you’re just plain too stressed to write. Have you thought about maybe writing a little something, maybe something quick and light, to get back into the groove without feeling the pressure of what you feel like you’re supposed to be writing? Maybe something funny? I don’t know, just a thought. Because it sounds like you’re a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. I’ve been stir crazy being trapped in the house for two days. I can’t imagine what it would be like having to entertain a child for as many days as you have been.

    You mentioned women saying they wished they didn’t have to work a full time job and trying to realize they aren’t talking TO you but about THEM. That’s true. We are bemoaning our own circumstances, not judging you. Everyone has different responsibilities, and no one knows what’s happening in someone else’s life or head. For instance, I could never be as efficient with my time as Kait. But that’s just me. We’re all different with a different set of circumstances. I try not to worry too much about it and just do the best I can. And that’s all you can do…the best you can. And I think you’re awesome. *hugs*

  4. Aaron

    Seems like occasionally setting these writing goals and so forth can be counterproductive. It really depends on your mindstate and maybe now is just not the right time. I’ve done writing goals but currently don’t have anything going. But feeling guilty and beating myself up when I don’t write has never helped either.

    I think trying to gently corral myself back to doing a little here and there has been the best way for me. And then when I’m back in the groove in a major way, I can set some pretty big goals for myself and not feel so overwhelmed.

    Anyway, whatever difficulties you’re going through at the moment, it’ll pass…remember, it always does.

    An E-Publisher’s Manifesto

    • Sorry, Aaron, I could have sworn I approved this comment earlier, but it never showed up. But here you are now.

      Yes, writing goals have often been counter-productive for me, since I use them to beat myself with. But I’m making a conscious effort not to do that, and, believe it or not, this is me doing better.

      I was just reading some quotes from Hush Money that had been posted somewhere, and it was cheering. If the characters don’t start coming to me, maybe I’ll go back and re-read book 1 to visit with them.

  5. I think you have severe cabin fever. I think with writers it can kind of sneak up on us, because like you said, we’re happy to be alone. But then suddenly we realize that the only people we’ve been in contact with were online or in our own families, and then the solitude turns quickly into anxiety or depression. I hope you get some sunlight and fresh air today…

    I understand not relating to the outgoing types. My husband is a complete social butterfly and always has been, and two of my kids expect the party to start when they show up. My oldest would never be at home if it were up to him. It taxes me, big time. Fortunately, my other two have my hermit tendencies….

    I suspect that when your daughter is back in school and the snow lets up and you get some fresh air and sunlight, your creativity will come flooding back. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I know what it’s like having kids around. One or four–they’re still distracting little beasts. They eat at your brain even if they’re entertaining themselves.

    Many hugs to you, lovely lady…

    Amy

    • Cabin fever, definitely. Winter is often bad like this. And I still let it sneak up on me every year. We did get out as a family on Sunday which was nice and I think it helped. But I could really use some time alone and a little time just with a few other adults. Things will get better soon. They’ve called off school for tomorrow already, but they’ve got to take them back sometime.

      Right?

  6. I’m a mom of two that’s going back to work next week. I think the key is for us to “bloom where we’re planted”. The grass is always greener syndrome, I’ve found, is a waste of energy. The last few months at home on maternity leave have been an eye opener. Staying home ain’t easy. For me, going out to work is actually…easier…gah…I almost feel bad saying that, but I need time away. Regardless, for me it’s best to focus on the here and now and be thankful for blessings in whatever shape and form they come in. (Easier said than done of course!)

    • When I had a job, I didn’t feel like I had to justify how I spent my time the way I do now. I did my work, and then I got some time for me. And now it’s kind of like I’m on duty 24 hours a day, but I so rarely have anything to show for my time because everything I do just gets messed up again. It’s all kind of…consumable. So that’s one of the ways having a job was easier. But I wouldn’t want to go back to having to punch a clock, show up when I’m sick, etc. Trade-offs.

  7. I’m late to this discussion. It just sucks when you’re being hit from all sides.

    I think Lauralynn is right about taking a break from the Talents or at least the current one. If you push yourself too much, you may end up not wanting to write anything in that world for a while.

    I also think it’s the cutest thing that you moved furniture in skates because you’re daughter wanted to. She runs a tight ship.

    • Yesterday I worked on some series stuff and some ideas for book 3, stuff that will go better if I work a few details into this book. It was going pretty well, actually, and I wish I’d had more time to work on it. But I’m working on being a better parent too.

      And OMG, you have no idea.

  8. Toniann

    Snowflakes are starting to make me cry. TN has this crazy idea that a dusting of snow is equal to antrax- I am sure of this. Where is the proof you ask? My 12 year old, “mom, mom, mom, I’m bored” has only seen 1 day of school so far for 2011. As you are well aware Xmas break left their charming little butts at home since Dec 17. My college courses are online, so while I read about Constitutional Law and try not to slit my eye balls because its so much fun- Troy boy wants to know why we can’t go to Burger King, Walmart, a movie or play on itunes. Really?? My military husband is living it up with his own snow days in NC and I feel like locking myself in a room until the momming stops! Know what helps? Reading. So while I feel your pain, I am sending a high five your way because instead of working on school- I hide away at night and read fun paranormal non-reality that makes everything so much better. You rock! Bring on the talents ok? πŸ™‚

    • Toniann, thanks for this comment and sharing my TN pain. If you’re anywhere near the Knoxville/Gatlinburg area, maybe we should try to grab a lunch together after the thaw.

      BTW, I LOVE the snow=anthrax. That’s EXACTLY how it is!! Thanks for making me laugh about it on snow day #13, day #24 of Snow Siege 2011 (which was so OMG bad!! that I spent a good part of the day at Chuck E Cheese’s yesterday, which is like a 25 mile drive from my house). Holiday weekend now, so I’m hoping for a nice restart the Tuesday after day #27.

  9. I’ve been doing sadly miserable on my goals lately too, due in my case to a cold. And now that I’m on the mend, I won’t have any words this weekend due to a trip to visit Mickey in Anaheim. (Pity you didn’t go for a visit… Those trips always cheer me up!) Hopefully I can get some words in today, and hopefully the snow days end soon for you…

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